oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
