Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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