Buhtt sex?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize