throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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