we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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