if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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