I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize