I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize