Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
