This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
