I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
