i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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