So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
