dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
