The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
