As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
