his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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