I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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