hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
