This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
