Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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