That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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