So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
