We named our party play list daddy issues
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
