I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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