You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
jump out the window naked night went bad
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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