He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
