Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
