can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
