She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize