Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize