her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Enjoy the penises
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
