part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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