I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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