how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
