so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
