It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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