First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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