come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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