i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
A bitchslap is in order.
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