so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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