i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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