Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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