He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
