Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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