i don't like sucking hair
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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