Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
