you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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