Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
