Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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