thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
