I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
