Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head